![]() This morning I paced the kitchen, rehearsing what I had to tell her over and over again. While I’m gone my wife gets up, gets dressed, gets a smoothie going… whatever. Usually when I wake up, I go for a run or a bike ride. I know a lot of people were asking for an update so here goes: I really was “getting it off my chest” and expected a few “good luck” comments and not much more. I didn’t expect the first post to blow up. Update (tried to post separately but it was taken down) posted todayįirst of all… damn. I’m sorry I’ve wasted so much of my life being married to a woman because I thought it was the right thing. This was never right, and I’m only sorry it took me so long to realize it. I’m expecting her to cry and beg and demand we try therapy. I am going to ask out the pretty barista who flirts with me every morning. I hope to leave the higher-paying job that my wife insisted I take for something with less hours, sometime in the next year. I have a divorce attorney who has assured me that the prenup we signed before marriage means I won’t have to pay alimony. ![]() The lease is up on the Mercedes my wife pushed me to lease next month and I will be replacing it with a used Prius. I rented a cool apartment across town, in a “less desirable” neighborhood and there’s a stack of ikea furniture waiting for me to set it up there. I want to retire someday, I want to enjoy my life. I am a 45 year old physician and I have barely enough savings to sustain us for 3 months. We have no kids (she said she wanted them before marriage then changed her mind), our home looks like a showroom, there is no warmth or joy or even comfort here. ![]() Not good enough to support the kind of lifestyle she wants though. It’s like the moment she got the ring, it stopped being about me and became about what I could give her. ![]() In the following months she wanted a new apartment, a new car, gifts, jewelry, handbags. On our honeymoon, she did nothing but complain I hadn’t booked a nicer hotel. Pretty much the moment the ink was dry on our marriage license, things went south. I called it cold feet and did my best to ignore it. We dated for 6 years before that and I got a lot of pressure to get married from my parents, her parents, her… something in my gut said that this wasn’t right. I (45m) and my wife (44f) have been married for 10 years. ![]()
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